I am home today with a migraine and I am angry about that because I have work that needed to be done at work today. Yesterday I was losing my focus and my head began to spin in the afternoon and I worked hard at keeping on task but it was hard. This morning I began getting ready and my head was just cooperating demanding there be no light and each step of making breakfast was frot with forgotten steps. I realized I would not be able to safe to drive and when I got to work I would be fighting for focus. So it was calling in to the absentee line for me to make sure I could take care of my pained brain.
That means so many things have to happen it is just amazing it gets done at all for anyone. For me what I am wish is that I could find a laundromat that had wifi and coffee that wasn’t out of a vending machine.
So currently I live in a basement where there is a semi working washer that I first wash and have to spin separately (grumble grumble) no dryer. The dryer is upstairs out the door onto a back porch that is filthy with dirt, dog hair, growing things and I hate it.
Each time I go out there I feel dirtier and yet that is where the dry is that I have to drag my wet clothing to. Often time there is leftover clothing in the dryer and for some reason on basket so I have to find one to put the clothes in from previous person and then I can check the lint trap and start my laundry. PAIN, such a pain because of my knee troubles that cause me to lose breath with pain often while walking across the floor let alone stairs of which there are 3 sets repeatedly. So this is a painful process to me on laundry day while I live here and a large reason why I am looking for a place on ground floor.
Thankfully I do not have to pound out my laundry by hand on rocks.
Wish me luck and everyone else on “Laundry Day”
I am extremely proud of myself for all of this work that I have been doing and thankful for the support I have gotten. Leaving my blog unattended made me feel similar to leaving your animal out in the rain I hope everyone will forgive me but I needed the time to focus.
I have thought of some great posts that I want to put together for my page here so I will be working on that. As you can see I am doing my next 5K in Medford, OR with family.
Starting on Sunday I was able to get a mile back into my daily walking and that makes me feel good. I feel horrible because due to illness I was not able to keep up with my training and that has made everything worse.
But I am back and I going to be working on making sure I share stories about my progress and events going on around this place called earth that I think are fun.
Pain is ruling my life right now so I am going to take a few days for myself and attempt to not feel guilty. There is some amazing sexy science and geeky stuff out there so please comment on what you find and share it with the world. If not with me with someone…
Right I know that is a bit too sunny but like I told my friend today, “Yup I am too sunny that’s why I got skin cancer.” Okay it’s a bad joke but it was funny to me and you have to be really ugly not to smile at yourself from time to time.
Take care everyone and I promise that I will be back sooner than later but I just need some time.
Oh and if it is sunny and you are looking for a cheep project here is a fun idea:
Some folks know the pain I have in my day to day life and how exhausting it is for me. Others may simply read about it from time to time but it is a real thing in my life. The nice thing is that I can make that less pain if I remember to drink my water, take my meds, and take pain killers.
Sadly I am not good at any of these things. It is not like I am trying to hurt myself it’s just that there is this mental block to remembering that these things are vital to me being able even function day to day. Sees silly right? It is actually terrifying to forget any one of these things because of the amount of pain I have to manage when I forget them. This is partly due to my pride I have discovered because I did not have to deal with any sort of medication as a child. I in fact hated taking anything for anything because pills were just gross as my mother can tell you.
Last week I had a hard time with just about everything in my life and my pain levels where such that I really was only able to lay in bed and sleep. It had started on Monday and I left work early and saw my doctor who prescribed me a new pill. I really wanted a pain killer but I was too afraid to ask for it.. yes I was afraid because I always worry about what someone might think of me. But I didn’t get pain killers so I manage my pain by mostly sleeping and not really moving much for about 4 days. Now I got out of the house a bit on Wednesday and that was really hard because I had let a person borrow my car. I got it back and packed up things for staying over night at a friends house but I forgot my “Machine” so I had to go back home at the end of hanging out. This turned out to be okay for me even thought I really was needing to get away from life at home. The next day I slept past my appointment with a new therapist and she was able to reschedule for later and by later I mean like 45 mins later. It was a mad dash for the appointment and I was late still because of traffic and not knowing where I was going.
By the way I cried at just about every meeting with someone that I spoke with last week it was really embarrassing. From emotional to physical pain I was just done for until Friday I finally did not feel the pain. Well not as much anyway and I was able to freely walk down the stairs without fighting back tears. I felt so good my mind kept saying “do a cartwheel, don’t you remember how cool a cartwheel feels? DO IT!” I did not do a cartwheel because I am smarter than the 11 yr old jerk in my head to know I am not yet ready for that physically.
Today I forgot my water and all of my meds so I am in pain right now but I am feeling emotionally really good. But I need some water and my meds to kick in so I can manage a bit better.
Thanks for reading my rant about my life last week. Good luck!