Tag Archives: me

Prepare your heart

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I happen to be one of those wonderful fat people in America and it’s not easy but it is there and it cannot be hidden.

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 Having a weight that makes you think about the effect you have on the world you interact with creates a very different view point. I look at clothing differently along with cooking, cleaning, bathing, walking, biking, relaxing, and my friends.  

Image I react to everything physically in a very cautious way and the same is true of others when they see me.  Seating space is a problems often and I will grab floor space to not take up so much room.  The problem with that is it hurts my body to be on the floor but I emotionally don’t like asking folks to get up for me to be not in pain.  People don’t want to make me feel bad because of my weight but making it a impolite topic to create incorrect ideas about a person.  There have been many studies showing that people just react badly to a fat person and we treat them with less kindness than a drunk sometimes. 

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My cancers Melanoma and Thyroid have made it difficult as well to manage my weight and I get many pity looks.  Honestly I like the pity sometimes because the emotional weight of all of the cancer, arthritis, and baggage of not being the hero for others is a heavy load.

It is difficult for me to exercise because I have osteoarthritis and it has caused me to stop participating in the 5K walks I enjoy so much.  I love to cook delightful meals that are fantastic and healthy but I lack the strength and stamina to prepare anything.  For that matter just going shopping for food is difficult with the pain in my knees and back. 

Sharing this with my readers makes me feel awkward because I want to do more and better for myself with regard to my weight.  I am preparing my heart to be strong enough to get better and not allow size of the problem to out wit me. 

Brave Girl

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So my friends, family, and others describe me as being brave because of what I have overcome and work through on a regular basis.  I honestly am not sure about this but I can say that I don’t think I could have laid down when I was diagnosed with cancer the first or the second time.  When I dealt with being raped it did not seem right to let it define me and curl up into a ball and not find ways to have good things happen for me.   I am independent and a seeker of creative ways to solve problems so that I can say I have looked at all of my options.  I am likely a very brave person if you think of someone that won’t give up and will work with what you have to push forward to something better regardless of the set backs put in front of them.

New book of stamps i hope it will last till the end of the year.

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Gallery of My Life

Please see my gallery of the things hat I have done over the past few years.  I will be adding more later but I wanted to start with this.