Tag Archives: friends

Sympathy is not Empathy


This video touched me and finally described the difference between Sympathy and Empathy that I understood. It explains why when I tell my problems to some folks I feel worse and to others I don’t feel as heavy. Because the connection between me and the person I am telling lifts the “I am so alone” feeling out of my heart just a bit.
Empathy from the people I met at the church now attend is the reason I have started to know peace in my life.
This man from Nazareth the slum of the ancient arab world who was a born of the dirty cousin of King David totally empathise with me. People don’t talk the way he did and mean it usually. There is no way I or anyone deserves a friend like the way he a friend to everyone. This may sound strange but sometimes I think of him the same way I think of Dr Who because of how much they both love humanity even with all of it’s flaws. Both work really hard and in strange confusing ways and achieve the unexpected and needed.

So my friends I don’t know what your pain is but I see that it’s there and I am just glad you share a few moments on this blog and we can connect. Thank you for reading and I am always happy when I have written something that finds a connection with others.
Please have an amazing day!

Church Conversion


As a kid I learned of Jesus and thought of him as my best friend but I found cruelty in the church so I left it and mourned my friend Jesus.  My heart cold to the word Christian I turned to wiccan but I missed my friend and I would occasionally sketch him laughing and smiling like I remembered him.  My leaving the church in my heart was in 1992 and in 2013 I need community and I was feeling out of place with my current friends and with my cancer and medical crap.  A friend who was nerdy and geeky (like me) attended Ascension church so I decided to attend one Sunday.  The people I met were really fun and nerdy and that made me feel good and not out of place.  I noticed I would have lengthy conversation without snarky or disdain for the question I would pose.  This was different and there was a desire for understanding and I felt kindness and intelligence in the hearts of the people I met. I found myself feeling happy being at church. I also found myself crying during sermons and listening to the word having the understanding sinking in.  The feeling of being a kid and Jesus as my best friend was coming back and I was crying because I missed him.  I missed talking with him about all the dumb things in my life that were causing me pain.  I missed sharing with him how wonderful the mornings were with the light slowly hugging the earth.  Ascension Presbyterian helped me find my best friend again and the only thing that really mattered.


Soggy Snow


Today I was able to get out of my apartment and it was so soggy getting down the plowed road but it was also fun.  When I am stuck at home I always have my radio tuned to OPB my local public radio station and while the news reports get old it is still nice to get some of the nice programs.  I like being home and listening to all of the shows and then to turn off the radio and enjoy the quiet of the snowy days we’ve had. Just outside of my door I was able to spy the poor birds trying to find food and warmth and I made me want to have some seeds to throw out for them.  I was thinking just a few weeks ago that I was going to dig up and turn over the soil for my garden and I am glad I did not.  But I am eager for the rain to wash away the snow even if I did like it I want to enjoy the rain of spring so that I can be able to plant by March and April.  

Planting a garden this year is going to be my main project for the year I think but I am also going to be working with a friend to build a pair of beehives with a friend.  The other project is I am going to be helping a friend set up a chicken coop in his side yard.  It may seem like a bit to take on but mostly I am going to be working on the gardening I am actually just helping with the other projects.  By helping I mean doing the research and find the materials at a good prices so that it wont break the budget. Honestly it is really a way for me to put together spreed sheets that I love and then to get some experience with two things I want to do later on when I have my own place.

So I love my alone time and time with friends but mostly I love projects and getting inspired.  I hope that everyone finds something to be inspired by today. 


Wellness Muse

Hey everyone I have been updating all of the pages of my blog but I wanted to share this page.  I would like feedback on what else I can put here.  Also thanks so much for reading.

How to Exercise Your Human


Apparently I need to get a Purrsonal trainer to get in shape. Thank goodness for cats and dogs everywhere helping us humans get healthy enough to take care of them.

Oaty Goodness


Put some oats in your diet!

This past few weeks I got a taste of some different recipes for Oats.  A friend’s wife made me baked oatmeal and I just fell in love with that and I was sharing my pleasure with the recipe and my friend said his wife used Scottish oats something I knew nothing about.  The nerd in me took over and started some researching oats.

Whole Oat Groats: Cooks in 50-60 minutes. You can use the brown rice setting on a rice cooker to make groats the easy way.

A groat is another name for a grain kernel. Whole oat groats are the result of simply harvesting oats, cleaning them, and removing their inedible hulls. You can most often find these in health food stores. They take the longest to cook. 

Scottish OatmealCooks in 10 minutes.

Instead of cutting oats with a steel blade, the Scots traditionally stone-grind them, creating broken bits of varying sizes, which some say results in a creamier porridge than steel-cutting.

Steel Cut Oats Cook in 10-20 minutes. I use my crock pot to cook these overnight!

If you cut groats into two or three pieces with a sharp metal blade, you get steel cut oats. They cook quicker than oat groats, because water can more easily penetrate the smaller pieces. Steel cut oats are also sometimes called Irish oatmeal or pinhead oats.

Rolled Oats – regular (old fashioned): Cooks in 5 minutes.

Are created when oat groats are steamed and then rolled into flakes. This process stabilizes the healthy oils in the oats, so they stay fresh longer, and helps the oats cook faster, by creating a greater surface area.

Quick Oats – quick or instant oatmeal: is ready in 60 seconds.

If you roll the oat flakes thinner, and/or steam them longer, you create quick oats and ultimately instant oats. The nutrition stays the same (these are all whole grains) but the texture changes


Preparing for Surgery


In 8 days I will be going into surgery to repair the meniscal tear to my left knee that plagues me with pain.  I have recently gotten a cane to help me with walking and my friend from church is letting me use a walker to help me move around. Things will be difficult for about a week while I heal but I have faith in my friends and in myself to manage my healing for a week.  I must say I am excited to get this done because it means that I will be able to walk around more without the need of a cane as much.  

My hope is that I can start walking again in 5Ks next year!  But mostly I hope that I can enjoy taking a walk in the park again. 

Becky from Hillsboro


This last Wednesday I was at a friends house and things got a bit crazy and in that craziness Becky from Hillsboro was created.  So she is going to be part of a new story I am going to write.  You will likely see a few short stories about Becky as I get to know her so please keep an eye out for those.

Prepare your heart


I happen to be one of those wonderful fat people in America and it’s not easy but it is there and it cannot be hidden.


 Having a weight that makes you think about the effect you have on the world you interact with creates a very different view point. I look at clothing differently along with cooking, cleaning, bathing, walking, biking, relaxing, and my friends.  

Image I react to everything physically in a very cautious way and the same is true of others when they see me.  Seating space is a problems often and I will grab floor space to not take up so much room.  The problem with that is it hurts my body to be on the floor but I emotionally don’t like asking folks to get up for me to be not in pain.  People don’t want to make me feel bad because of my weight but making it a impolite topic to create incorrect ideas about a person.  There have been many studies showing that people just react badly to a fat person and we treat them with less kindness than a drunk sometimes. 


My cancers Melanoma and Thyroid have made it difficult as well to manage my weight and I get many pity looks.  Honestly I like the pity sometimes because the emotional weight of all of the cancer, arthritis, and baggage of not being the hero for others is a heavy load.

It is difficult for me to exercise because I have osteoarthritis and it has caused me to stop participating in the 5K walks I enjoy so much.  I love to cook delightful meals that are fantastic and healthy but I lack the strength and stamina to prepare anything.  For that matter just going shopping for food is difficult with the pain in my knees and back. 

Sharing this with my readers makes me feel awkward because I want to do more and better for myself with regard to my weight.  I am preparing my heart to be strong enough to get better and not allow size of the problem to out wit me. 

Superhero problems


Superhero problems

People talk about first world problems vs third world problems but honestly what about Superhero problems. Yes they have amazing abilities and they fight super villains but what about the everyday crap.
Anyway this is mostly for my friends who are in the Superhero game with me. Some of us have flight some of us have secret identities but we all have problems.