Today is a day for pills

Standard

I take medication to keep myself from falling apart emotionally and just stay on task for what needs to get done for the day.  When I run out it’s a bit scary but I handle it well enough on the first day and I am still pretty good on the second day.  By the 3rd and 4th day I am feeling manic and all of my mental faculties are fighting me for attention and focus.  The 5th day is awful because then I realize I have been a jerk to everyone just trying to stay focused and on task to just get to my desk at work let alone help customers out all day long.  The weekend hit and for some reason my doctors office had not authorized a refi of my medication and I just felt defeated.

What I take is part of a group of medications called SSRI and you can look them up on many sites or visit the library for volumes of text on these drugs.

Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors or serotonin-specific reuptake inhibitor are a class of compounds typically used as antidepressants in the treatment of depression, anxiety disorders, and some personality disorders.

I take 200 mg of the one called Sertraline but the brand name is Zoloft and it works really well at keeping me focused and while I am not especially happy I am able to get up each day and function.  The misconception that they are happy pills is widespread and just stupid because pills will not and cannot make you happy.. you can do that yourself.  But the SSRI’s job is to manage your body’s serotonin chemical that gets off balance when we have really stressful lives.  I have cancer and I am also very creative and I have never managed to get a job that allowed that part of me to be expressed.   So my serotonin levels have over many years gotten to where I need the medication so that I can continue to function.

It is raining today and I am loving it but I am having trouble getting to all of the normal things I would like to get accomplished.  Laundry and cleaning being on my Sunday to do list and I already missed church because I wasn’t able to focus long enough to get out the door.  What I want to accomplish in writing this article is to share my personal relationship with the medication that keeps me functional.

I have not been keeping up with my writing here but I have been working on a collection of short stories from childhood and also my odd history with two cancers.

 Thank  you all so very much for reading and have an amazing day.  Please also wish me luck in getting my medication crap take care of.

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